The Year You Didn't See

New Year's Eve is officially the season for scrolling through all of your friends' "Look how great my year was!" collages on all forms of social media.  Now, if you know me, you know that I am a social media guru...I love the power social media has to connect us and allow us to share what we love about the world.  I think it is a beautiful thing.  So, I'm not against the collages for the end of the year and all the sappy quotes ushering in the new one.  I've posted my fair share of them, and I'll probably do the same today because I'm a sentimental person.  I'm not bashing any of that.  Post that stuff; share the things that made your year beautiful.

But here's the thing...beauty isn't just made of the happy moments.  And beauty isn't just made of the big moments--the big game, performance, graduation, or new job.  But that's what will be plastered on all of our "end of year" posts.  And that's okay.  Because the sad moments, the hard moments, the little moments of joy, the exhausted moments, the quiet moments--those are oftentimes more special left unshared with the rest of the world.

But here's my challenge to you: Reflect on those moments and see the beauty in the whole year and how far it's brought you as a person.  See the sad moments.  And see the happiest moments of all--those little moments spent by yourself, or with the right people, that weren't monumental--didn't make it on social media--but were hands down the best moments of the year.

Don't forget the moment of looking outside and seeing a foot of snow, glistening in the morning sunlight.  Don't forget the moment when you were simply talking with a good friend and were overwhelmed with how much you appreciate them--more than could ever be summed up in a post on Instagram.  Don't forget the moment where you were running on two hours of sleep and literally felt like you could fall asleep in your chair.  Don't forget the moment when you watched the magic of theatre unfold before you and move an audience.  Don't forget the moment when you broke down in tears trying to frantically cram the night before an exam.  Don't forget the moment when watched the sunrise and were brought to tears.  Don't forget the moment when you heard a song and it turned your day around in an instant.  Don't forget the moments you spent crying and grieving with friends facing some of the most challenging days and events in their lives, bringing challenges no one deserves to face.  Don't forget the moment when you went out to breakfast with friends and laughed so hard you cried--about nothing in particular.  Don't forget the moment when you felt unsure, afraid, and alone in a new situation.  Don't forget the moment when you sat with friends until late in the night, talking about life and the future.  Don't forget the "happy birthday" wishes to and from friends.  Don't forget the family, joking around the Thanksgiving table.  Don't forget the goodbyes.

Those are just a few of the small moments, the sad moments, the seemingly insignificant moments.  The moments that may not make your "2015 was great" collage--some of them because you'd rather forget them and some of them because they weren't super "significant."  Embrace those moments.  Don't live in them, for they are the past, but embrace them.  And then embrace yourself, because those moments made you who you are today.

I hope that you see that the collage of your 2015 is a beautiful picture--each moment, good or bad, making it so.  Not the collage that's on Instagram for all your followers, but the collage that's in your heart.  The collage of your life.  The year they didn't see.

But you saw it.  You lived it.  Love it.  And love 2016, building the collage of your life moment by moment--the good and the bad, the large and the small.

Endings are beautiful, as are the beginnings that are sure to follow

15 Things I Learned My First Semester of College

1. Do what you love.
I know that's a stupid saying that is becoming very cliche, but as I see my high school friends and meet people on campus, it is so easy to tell who is doing what they love--or, better said, what they are passionate about.  The people who are majoring in something because it is what the "smart" kids do, or because of the anticipated large salary that comes along with it, are miserable.  You can see it in their face.  There are people who really love biology...they light up when they talk about it.  There are people who really love marketing, music, engineering, and so on.  But you can tell when they don't.  They are turning themselves into passive creatures that are apathetic towards their studies and futures, and that is honestly scary.  If you get into your major and realize that it isn't for you, change it.  Don't be stupid.  Be smart.  Find the major that fits your passions.

2. You can grow in your faith.

I thought I was in a good spot in my faith going into college.  And I was.  But I didn't see this kind of growth coming.  It has been unreal.  Don't underestimate the power of community who believes what you do.  For me, I found that community at Christian Student Fellowship with my small group...other people find it elsewhere.  Here's the thing though...you're either growing or falling away.  I have yet to meet a person who is stagnate in their faith since coming to college.  You're growing or falling away.  As with the major, it's not too late to change.  You're growing as a person or you're falling away from your beliefs...odds are you aren't staying the same.  I think beliefs definitely evolve, but you are changing.  Make sure it's for the better.

3. It's not too late to change.
I think I explained this one above sufficiently, and it applies to the stuff below.  Basically, if you don't like what you're doing/who you're becoming...it's not too late to change that.  You're the one living your life.

4. Put yourself out there and opportunities find you.

My lovely a cappella group singing the national anthem at Rupp Arena

Go do things that you want to do and don't care if other people care...because usually they don't.  When you do this, opportunities start to find you.  I've heard all the stuff about how it's important to "seek out opportunities" and "create your own opportunities" and that's true.  Those things are what I'm talking about when I say to put yourself out there.  But once you start to do these things, opportunities just start showing up.  For example, I wrote this blog, and I am now working on another project because of it.  I auditioned for one a cappella group, didn't get in, but had the opportunity to audition for another one that I am now in.  I wouldn't change that for the world.  I applied for a job in the fall, didn't get it for the fall semester, but they are hiring me for the spring because of my fall interview.  Those are just a few examples.  Put yourself out there and try things, even if you don't know how they'll turn out.  No one is judging you and you never know what other opportunities might come from it.  Then seize those opportunities and make the most of them.  And even if something seems to "go wrong," remember...it's amazing how the wrong things don't work out so that the right ones do.

5. Usually the "big" issues are just little issues blown way out of proportion.
I try to stay out of drama, but I observe it from afar (at least as far away as I can get), and I have discovered this fun fact--usually the "huge" issues that people have are things that started as a minute issue and have spiraled out of control and blown WAY out of proportion.  Solution: Solve the easy, little issues and half the time it prevents any difficult, big issues from happening.  Easier said than done, I know.  But it's worth saying.

6. If your friends go to different schools, it's not the end of the world.
Now, I say that from a different perspective, because almost all of my close high school friends went to the same college as me.  But I almost wish we hadn't.  Because, the truth is, you're going to drift, no matter where you go...and that's okay.  But when you're all on the same campus, drifting means that you don't get together on breaks and that you've just...drifted.  The friend groups from my high school who all split up have great little reunions on breaks, and I've had that with some friends from my church and some theatre friends, but, trust me, if you go to different schools, it's not the be all end all.  That being said, I have stayed super close with a couple high school friends who are at college with me, so it just depends on the situation!

7. You will make friends, and they will be incredible.

My small group from Christian Student Fellowship

College friends are crazy awesome.  During welcome week, get to know tons of people and be friendly, but I will caution you--don't settle.  I didn't find my best friends through welcome week activities.  I found them when I started to get involved in things I cared about.  And that's the great thing about college friends--you often share a lot of the same passions and interests, yet are still all crazy different in the best of ways.  Like I said, I didn't have super close best friends after a week...honestly, it was towards the end of the semester that we really started to get close.  But you WILL make friends.  Go and do things that you care about.  Everyone else is thinking they are going to be lonely creatures.  And the first bit might be lonely.  The first few days I was pretty lonely, but you just have to let the friendships grow.  They will.  And when you let friendships develop over time, they become crazy beautiful.  Also, you're basically living, going to school, and going to all the extracurricular with your friends, so that helps.  It is so cool.

Choir babies!

8. Don't forget where you're from.

Stay in touch with your family...do the group texts, go visit, send them pictures, call your mom, find out what's happening in your sister's life--do whatever.  Independence is cool, but so is your fam, however weird they might be.  But,  #8 here is also a shout out to high school.  So many people think they've "grown up and moved on to bigger and better things."  And you have.  But you would never have made it to those bigger and better things without your past.  And those younger students who you were in all your extracurriculars with in high school?  Yeah, they're still there.  And they still love and look up to you.  Let me tell you, I have become my high school choir and drama club's biggest fan.  I am the proud mom at everything, I go back and visit, and I frequently see all of their posts on social media and my heart swells with pride.  Some might say I'm being sentimental and holding on to the past, but I'm not.  I've completely moved on, but not in the way that I'm going to forget all the people and places that got me here.  They are a part of me.  Don't blow it off.  Staying somewhat connected to my high school has been the best.  And if you've gone far away to college, social media is the way to go.

9. Stop the comparisons and live your life.
I struggle with this one sometimes, because it always seems like something is doing something cooler or better than what I'm doing.  And, hey, newsflash--someone always is.  I've discovered this song called "Love Life" by Natalie Taylor and she sings, "When you love life--your life--it's beautiful."  Truth.  You just have to embrace what you are doing and stop looking around.  Runners are told to only look ahead and not to the left or the right to run better.  So run better.  Focus on what you're doing.  Support others in all of their cool endeavors, but don't compare yourself.  Everyone's journey is different.

10. Take time for yourself.
It's really hard to have alone time at college, at least for me.  I feel like I am constantly surrounded by people, and, as an introvert, that's the struggle.  I spent a lot of time stressing over homework and surrounded by people in high school, and it took some time for me to learn that I had to take time to take care of myself mentally.  I personally like to read my Bible and write about life, and before I go to bed I watch The Tonight Show because it lets me end my day with a smile regardless of how it went.  Find your happy space and go there, because you need to take time to take care of yourself.  It is important.

11. Friendship has no boundaries.

When I was younger, I always wanted a little girl who was my age to move in on my street.  There were (and still are) a bunch of boys around my age, but I wanted a friend who was a girl.  Well, fifteen years later, all those boys are still some of my best friends.  More importantly, however, fifteen years later, I have learned that friendship is something that is not restricted by anything.  I have friends from every walk of life, and it is a beautiful thing.  I've learned this just being in theatre, but college kind of reinforced that idea.  Because, even in high school, people are mainly friends with people in their grade.  In college, what year you are really doesn't matter.  Making friends of all ages over the past few years (including before college) has been the best.

12. Saying "Thank You!!!" is important.
I mentioned this in my earlier post for seniors, Dear 2016 Seniors, but it's relevant in college too.  Probably because it is basically just a good rule for life.  Tell everyone "THANK YOU!!!" because we all need each other, and it's nice to be thanked for what you do.

13. Smiling is also important.
Smile at people (even people you don't know) around campus.  Smile to the lady serving you lunch.  Smile to the person working the front desk of your residence hall.  Smile to everyone.  Maybe it'll make their day, you never know.

On, on, U of K!

14. Take advantage of all the cool things your campus has to offer.
Go to events on campus.  Accumulate lots of free t-shirts.  Go to sporting events for free (or for really cheap...if you're a UK student, spend the $5 for a basketball ticket because it's 100% worth it).  Go to band concerts.  Go to slam poetry events.  Spend time at the library.  Your school has a lot to offer you--take advantage of it (you're paying enough...)

15. Make sure to take it all in.
This semester has been a whirlwind of wonderful things, but it FLEW.  Sometimes I just took a moment to look around and breathe and think, "This moment is beautiful.  I want to remember this."  Consciously taking time to just take everything in and live in the moment is so important.

Thanks for a great first semester, college...here's to the next 7 (give or take a few) more!!!