Succeed, Don't Settle ["Whatever you are..."]

I just came from a small honors class, made up of ten students, that we are all required to take for a scholarship.  Today's discussion was on the book "Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life" by William Deresiewicz (which is an extremely interesting read, FYI).  Our discussion was all about the pressures our generation faces, starting as early as middle school or elementary school, to go on this "fast track" to be successful in college...because success in college obviously equates to success in life.  There is this obscene pressure to jump through all the hoops to get to college and then to be sure you are majoring in something "worthwhile"--something that will equate to a great career with great money.  We all are stuck in this perpetual cycle of having to perform well on exams, do all the right extracurriculars, get a 4.0 GPA, and jam-pack our schedules with whatever college admissions, or grad school admissions, or potential employers want to see.  We do what we have to do...to do what the system wants us to.  We are stuck in this mode where going to college, getting a degree that's "worthwhile," and getting a "good" job is all that matters.

Well, I say no.

I am a product of this system.  I did the "advanced" program in high school, filled my days with extracurriculars (some of which I actually enjoyed), and spent many nights suffering away at homework so that I could maintain as perfect of a GPA as possible.  I got no sleep, had no free time, and had mental breakdowns on a daily basis.  Yet, by doing all of that, I was classified as a "smart" student--one of the ones that would succeed in college and life.  I was getting what I thought I wanted.  I was performing well academically.  I was doing what was expected.  I was doing what was "right."

Honestly, I had to jump through the hoops to get into, and be able to afford, a college where I could study what I loved.  So that was blah, and I'm not totally sure what the solution to that is.  But I got there.  Then, I took a "wrong turn."  I decided to major in Arts Administration.  That's always an awkward conversation.  "Oh!" the person says, realizing that they don't know how to respond to my statement of what I major in, except with the good old follow-up question of, "...what are you going to do with that?"  My outward response varies day by day, because, to be honest, I'm not sure what I want to do with it...there are lots of options.  Specifically, what I want to do with it changes on a day to day basis sometimes.  I have some ideas, but I'm not totally sure what I want (please, I'm 19).  But, inwardly, I know what I'm "doing with that"...I'm doing what I want to be doing...I'm doing what I love.

To some people, I'm no longer "succeeding."  To some people, I'm "settling" for a career that won't bring in all the money.  I'm "settling" for something that I love, when I could be doing something much more academic and prestigious, and making so much more money.  I had that "potential."  Now, most people won't tell me that to my face because they are polite, but I can sense it.  It's awkward.  I was a very academically inclined student in high school.  Sure I loved the arts, but that was a hobby...not so much a career.

Well, here's what's up.  I'm doing what I love, and I'm planning to make a career out of it (although, honestly, making a life is more important than making a career in my opinion, so that's my real goal).  I'm not settling instead of succeeding, I'm succeeding instead of settling.  I'm doing what matters to me.

Also, here's the other thing about college.  I'm just as busy, if not busier.  I'm taking 18 hours of classes, involved in two choirs and an a cappella group (aka a lot of rehearsals and concerts/gigs happen), have a (small) part-time job, and go to Christian Student Fellowship and church.  I don't really have time to breathe half the time (HA!).  Sometimes I get stressed out, but I'm mostly excited.  My days are jam-packed like they were in high school--but they are now jam-packed with things I love.  I enjoy my classes for the most part, I'm interested in what I'm learning about, and my future is no longer full of hoops to jump through.  Instead, my future is full of adventures that I look forward to taking.  It's not about pleasing society and doing what I'm "supposed" to do.  It's about doing what I'm called to do.

So, this is me saying, "I quit."  I quit doing things that I don't want to do.  I quit accepting that there is only one or two paths to "success."  I quit the thinking that what I'm doing is less valid or important than what anyone else is doing.  I quit caring about what others think.

The only people who had a say in what I did with my life became me and, because I am a Jesus follower, God.  I listened to Him and His calling for my life that was evident in what I was passionate about.  Then I did that.  And worked hard to stop jumping through hoops, which is an ever-present learning experience.

The education system and the people we meet are all sending us so many messages about who we should be and what we should do, but only you can know what's best for you.  So, I challenge you to challenge the system.  When given a narrow path to walk, say "NO" and write your own story.  Use what you know to make a good decision (aka don't go do stupid things), but make it your decision.  Not society's.  Not anyone else's.  Go be the engineer, doctor, lawyer, artist, journalist, meteorologist, biologist, policeman, social worker, teacher, or whatever else that you are.

Whatever you are, be a good one.

-Abraham Lincoln

15 Things I Learned My First Semester of College

1. Do what you love.
I know that's a stupid saying that is becoming very cliche, but as I see my high school friends and meet people on campus, it is so easy to tell who is doing what they love--or, better said, what they are passionate about.  The people who are majoring in something because it is what the "smart" kids do, or because of the anticipated large salary that comes along with it, are miserable.  You can see it in their face.  There are people who really love biology...they light up when they talk about it.  There are people who really love marketing, music, engineering, and so on.  But you can tell when they don't.  They are turning themselves into passive creatures that are apathetic towards their studies and futures, and that is honestly scary.  If you get into your major and realize that it isn't for you, change it.  Don't be stupid.  Be smart.  Find the major that fits your passions.

2. You can grow in your faith.

I thought I was in a good spot in my faith going into college.  And I was.  But I didn't see this kind of growth coming.  It has been unreal.  Don't underestimate the power of community who believes what you do.  For me, I found that community at Christian Student Fellowship with my small group...other people find it elsewhere.  Here's the thing though...you're either growing or falling away.  I have yet to meet a person who is stagnate in their faith since coming to college.  You're growing or falling away.  As with the major, it's not too late to change.  You're growing as a person or you're falling away from your beliefs...odds are you aren't staying the same.  I think beliefs definitely evolve, but you are changing.  Make sure it's for the better.

3. It's not too late to change.
I think I explained this one above sufficiently, and it applies to the stuff below.  Basically, if you don't like what you're doing/who you're becoming...it's not too late to change that.  You're the one living your life.

4. Put yourself out there and opportunities find you.

My lovely a cappella group singing the national anthem at Rupp Arena

Go do things that you want to do and don't care if other people care...because usually they don't.  When you do this, opportunities start to find you.  I've heard all the stuff about how it's important to "seek out opportunities" and "create your own opportunities" and that's true.  Those things are what I'm talking about when I say to put yourself out there.  But once you start to do these things, opportunities just start showing up.  For example, I wrote this blog, and I am now working on another project because of it.  I auditioned for one a cappella group, didn't get in, but had the opportunity to audition for another one that I am now in.  I wouldn't change that for the world.  I applied for a job in the fall, didn't get it for the fall semester, but they are hiring me for the spring because of my fall interview.  Those are just a few examples.  Put yourself out there and try things, even if you don't know how they'll turn out.  No one is judging you and you never know what other opportunities might come from it.  Then seize those opportunities and make the most of them.  And even if something seems to "go wrong," remember...it's amazing how the wrong things don't work out so that the right ones do.

5. Usually the "big" issues are just little issues blown way out of proportion.
I try to stay out of drama, but I observe it from afar (at least as far away as I can get), and I have discovered this fun fact--usually the "huge" issues that people have are things that started as a minute issue and have spiraled out of control and blown WAY out of proportion.  Solution: Solve the easy, little issues and half the time it prevents any difficult, big issues from happening.  Easier said than done, I know.  But it's worth saying.

6. If your friends go to different schools, it's not the end of the world.
Now, I say that from a different perspective, because almost all of my close high school friends went to the same college as me.  But I almost wish we hadn't.  Because, the truth is, you're going to drift, no matter where you go...and that's okay.  But when you're all on the same campus, drifting means that you don't get together on breaks and that you've just...drifted.  The friend groups from my high school who all split up have great little reunions on breaks, and I've had that with some friends from my church and some theatre friends, but, trust me, if you go to different schools, it's not the be all end all.  That being said, I have stayed super close with a couple high school friends who are at college with me, so it just depends on the situation!

7. You will make friends, and they will be incredible.

My small group from Christian Student Fellowship

College friends are crazy awesome.  During welcome week, get to know tons of people and be friendly, but I will caution you--don't settle.  I didn't find my best friends through welcome week activities.  I found them when I started to get involved in things I cared about.  And that's the great thing about college friends--you often share a lot of the same passions and interests, yet are still all crazy different in the best of ways.  Like I said, I didn't have super close best friends after a week...honestly, it was towards the end of the semester that we really started to get close.  But you WILL make friends.  Go and do things that you care about.  Everyone else is thinking they are going to be lonely creatures.  And the first bit might be lonely.  The first few days I was pretty lonely, but you just have to let the friendships grow.  They will.  And when you let friendships develop over time, they become crazy beautiful.  Also, you're basically living, going to school, and going to all the extracurricular with your friends, so that helps.  It is so cool.

Choir babies!

8. Don't forget where you're from.

Stay in touch with your family...do the group texts, go visit, send them pictures, call your mom, find out what's happening in your sister's life--do whatever.  Independence is cool, but so is your fam, however weird they might be.  But,  #8 here is also a shout out to high school.  So many people think they've "grown up and moved on to bigger and better things."  And you have.  But you would never have made it to those bigger and better things without your past.  And those younger students who you were in all your extracurriculars with in high school?  Yeah, they're still there.  And they still love and look up to you.  Let me tell you, I have become my high school choir and drama club's biggest fan.  I am the proud mom at everything, I go back and visit, and I frequently see all of their posts on social media and my heart swells with pride.  Some might say I'm being sentimental and holding on to the past, but I'm not.  I've completely moved on, but not in the way that I'm going to forget all the people and places that got me here.  They are a part of me.  Don't blow it off.  Staying somewhat connected to my high school has been the best.  And if you've gone far away to college, social media is the way to go.

9. Stop the comparisons and live your life.
I struggle with this one sometimes, because it always seems like something is doing something cooler or better than what I'm doing.  And, hey, newsflash--someone always is.  I've discovered this song called "Love Life" by Natalie Taylor and she sings, "When you love life--your life--it's beautiful."  Truth.  You just have to embrace what you are doing and stop looking around.  Runners are told to only look ahead and not to the left or the right to run better.  So run better.  Focus on what you're doing.  Support others in all of their cool endeavors, but don't compare yourself.  Everyone's journey is different.

10. Take time for yourself.
It's really hard to have alone time at college, at least for me.  I feel like I am constantly surrounded by people, and, as an introvert, that's the struggle.  I spent a lot of time stressing over homework and surrounded by people in high school, and it took some time for me to learn that I had to take time to take care of myself mentally.  I personally like to read my Bible and write about life, and before I go to bed I watch The Tonight Show because it lets me end my day with a smile regardless of how it went.  Find your happy space and go there, because you need to take time to take care of yourself.  It is important.

11. Friendship has no boundaries.

When I was younger, I always wanted a little girl who was my age to move in on my street.  There were (and still are) a bunch of boys around my age, but I wanted a friend who was a girl.  Well, fifteen years later, all those boys are still some of my best friends.  More importantly, however, fifteen years later, I have learned that friendship is something that is not restricted by anything.  I have friends from every walk of life, and it is a beautiful thing.  I've learned this just being in theatre, but college kind of reinforced that idea.  Because, even in high school, people are mainly friends with people in their grade.  In college, what year you are really doesn't matter.  Making friends of all ages over the past few years (including before college) has been the best.

12. Saying "Thank You!!!" is important.
I mentioned this in my earlier post for seniors, Dear 2016 Seniors, but it's relevant in college too.  Probably because it is basically just a good rule for life.  Tell everyone "THANK YOU!!!" because we all need each other, and it's nice to be thanked for what you do.

13. Smiling is also important.
Smile at people (even people you don't know) around campus.  Smile to the lady serving you lunch.  Smile to the person working the front desk of your residence hall.  Smile to everyone.  Maybe it'll make their day, you never know.

On, on, U of K!

14. Take advantage of all the cool things your campus has to offer.
Go to events on campus.  Accumulate lots of free t-shirts.  Go to sporting events for free (or for really cheap...if you're a UK student, spend the $5 for a basketball ticket because it's 100% worth it).  Go to band concerts.  Go to slam poetry events.  Spend time at the library.  Your school has a lot to offer you--take advantage of it (you're paying enough...)

15. Make sure to take it all in.
This semester has been a whirlwind of wonderful things, but it FLEW.  Sometimes I just took a moment to look around and breathe and think, "This moment is beautiful.  I want to remember this."  Consciously taking time to just take everything in and live in the moment is so important.

Thanks for a great first semester, college...here's to the next 7 (give or take a few) more!!!

The Follower of God who Happens to Really Love Theatre

I started doing theatre in middle school, but I had been forcing my cousins and siblings to put on performances with me and daydreaming about performing for years.  It was in middle school that I started doing "real shows" though, and I never looked back.  Except I did.  I looked back a lot, because I was constantly being "warned" about the people in theatre and the arts.  Many well-meaning Christian friends and mentors told me all about how there weren't many Christians in the industry, and how there were a lot of "lost people."  Well, newsflash, there are a lot of "lost people" in every industry.  That being said, I continued to do theatre, and as I got deeper and deeper into this hobby of mine, I found a passion for the arts and arts education and a deep love for the people involved in them.

I loved God, but my life was becoming rooted in the arts.  I was sick and tired of people judging me for my passions and telling me not to pursue them in college.  My plan was to go to school and major in Arts Administration.  I got a lot of strange stares, a lot of kind words about how that industry needed lights for Jesus there, and a lot of "you're wasting your time and talent for a degree that won't get you anywhere."  People didn't get it.

What they didn't know was my story.  That in middle school, I cried every morning because I hated school.  I cried every time my family visited a new church because I felt so alone everywhere we went and just wanted to go to my home church with my friends, now lost.  I felt so alone.  Then God stuck theatre in my life, and I found a community who loved me.  I believe 100% that God uses non-believers to work his plan, because there is no doubt in my mind that theatre and music were put in my life by Him to impact me and allow me an outlet to express my joy and love for Him...and rediscover that in the process.  The arts were my passion, and I was being told that they were this super dark, scary place where God was not.

So, I went into college, chasing my dreams of working in the arts, but unsure of how my faith fit.  No one wanted to shed any light on that.  Probably because no one knew how to.  But this semester, God has come in and redefined what I'm doing and taught me some things about where my passions fit His plans.  Because here's the thing--I don't think God would give me a passion that's outside of  His will.  I've really grown in my faith over the last few months and fixed something.  I no longer love God but have a life rooted in the arts...I love the arts and my life is rooted in God.

Many well-meaning people had made it seem that working in the arts and living for Jesus were two things that didn't fit together, making theatre out to be this dark, dark world where there was no hope.  Well, Jesus is hope, and He is with me, even in theatre...even in the other arts...even if I decide to go into more TV/media/entertainment.  I will admit, I see and recognize that many people in my career field don't have the same morals and beliefs as me and sometimes that is difficult, but I have the greatest amount of love and respect for these people.  Theatre people are extremely respectful towards me and my beliefs, because I am the same towards them...I have never felt attacked or pressured to believe anything differently, and  I love people in the arts.  I love people who love Jesus too.

So many Christians seems to fear the field I have surrounded myself with.  People seem to want to run the opposite direction.  But I have a passion for the arts and a heart full of love for the people in the arts.  I don't have any reason to believe that was a coincidence.  I 100% believe that if "there are very few Christians in the lost world that your field is" that is all the more reason for me to be there.  Who is reaching those people?  Who is being Jesus?  I'm not here to shove things down anyone's throat, but I am here to love like Jesus while doing what I love.  And I am totally on board with that plan, and I'm really thankful that God has started to show me what that looks like.

So, to all the people who warned me against doing what I'm doing (whether it be because of the jobs I will get/money I will make or the lack of Christians in the field)...thank you for your concern, because I truly know you say what you say because you care.  But also, this is me telling you that God is going to use my passions for His glory and to change the world for Him, just as He uses yours.  And I can't wait to see what He does, and I hope you feel the same way.

Love,

The follower of God who happens to really love theatre

"Do What You Love"

"Do what you love."

So cliche, right?  Everyone says to "do what you love"--until that means that someone who loves the arts wants to go into them or someone who wants to be a teacher in some small country across the earth follows that dream.  We are quick to place so many judgments in the academic world, and I am just as guilty as the next person.  This blog post isn't about how much the arts matter and how those degrees are just as valid as math and science--though they are.  It is about how yesterday when I was sitting in one of my honors courses, I totally understood what passion was.

I never understood how anyone could major in something math-y or science-y unless it was for money purposes.  "How could anyone actually love doing that kind of awful stuff?" thought my arts inclined brain.  In class yesterday we were discussing what it means for my university to be a "Research-1 University," so of course, I was prepared for a discussion completely irrelevant for me--the one fine arts major in a room full of "normal" honors students--math and science majors.  And, to some extent, it was pretty irrelevant.  Odds are, I won't do much, if any, undergraduate research--it doesn't help me get to where I want to go.  However, one of my professors was talking about her neuroscience research and she was telling a story:  One night, she and another lady were doing research at one in the morning, and the lady turned to her and exclaimed, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET PAID TO DO THIS!!!!!!!"  That hit me.  That's how people in the arts feel.  That's how I hope to feel.

In that moment, it clicked.  People are just as passionate about biology and chemistry and political science as I am about the arts.  Now, there are people who go into that kind of stuff because it is "the smart thing to do" or because the jobs pay well.  However, my professor's eyes lit up with that light that is only present when someone is really passionate about what they are talking about.  Neuroscience research sets a fire within her, just like the arts do for me.

Maybe I didn't learn anything relevant to my major, career, or time at college.  But I did learn something about life.  We all have different passions, and maybe your passions make me want to bang my head against a wall, but the passion it sets within our hearts is the same.  It helps us grow and serve the world.  That is crazy cool.  So, HEY YOU...DO WHAT YOU LOVE!

P.S. My next post is going to be a "hey the arts matter a lot" post, but relating to academic life and what we as a society value as "intelligence" because me and my roommate talk about it all the time, and I love our conversations!