A Million People, A Million Paths

Lately the Lord has been revealing to me the importance of allowing our journey to be what it is--of allowing ourselves to be who the Lord created us to be. Because there are a million different paths that He has for us, and I think a lot of times we forget that. Our focus is on salvation (as it should be), so we get fixated on this idea that there is ONE path to heaven, and that idea is 100% correct. That path is Jesus. It is open to all, but it is the only way. However, that one path of salvation does not mean that our lives are all going to look the exact same. We may have the same mission, but the way that God calls us to live out that mission is going to vary, and that is where we have to stand firm and listen to Him alone--not the cries of this world and the people in it. Over the past month or so, the Lord has led me to several different passages in the Bible that have spoken directly to this and my struggles with it.

God speaks to us differently. In Psalm 139, David talks about how the Lord knows us so incredibly deeply--far better than we could ever know ourselves. He says in verses 1-3,
 "You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways."
The whole psalm is just a reminder that He knows us so well (because He created us), and therefore He loves us better than anyone could and speaks to us clearer than anyone could. While He loves us all the same amount (enough to send His Son to die in our place), I think that He shows us that in different ways. He speaks, not only His love, but His promises and truth into our lives in different ways. He reveals Himself to us in different ways. In ways that speak to us in only the way that one who knows us as deeply as He does could. He speaks to us all through scripture directly, but I think He also reveals Himself in different ways. For me, it is through creation, through music, through metaphors. To others it is other things. But Psalm 139 and the depth of His love for and knowledge of us is proof to me that we are unique. Fearfully and wonderfully made. Reflections of Him. But unique.

We are tempted differently. In Matthew 5, we are told in verses 29 and 30, "If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away." I had always just viewed these verses as "get rid of what makes you stumble." I still think that is what the verses are saying, but I read something about these verses that shed a new light on it. The different body parts are mentioned, because there are going to be different things we struggle with. We are each going to sin differently, and therefore we are each going to have to deal with that sin differently. Unique.

So, God was just revealing all over the place how unique we are and how different He makes us. All of this confirmation was leading up to the verses He sent me to in 1 Corinthians. Verses I knew well, but now know even better.

1 Corinthians 12. I've heard and read this chapter many times over the years, but about a month ago the Lord brought it to my attention again, and it really spoke to me, summing up everything else that He'd been showing me.

"12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body."

There's a lot lot lot of good stuff there, but I'm going to condense what my thoughts were/are.

We are one body. We have one same mission, as I mentioned before. That unites us all as the body. But if the body is going to work, we have to be different. And that's where all our different paths come into play.

I'm going to be honest, this post and all the places that God led me in scripture came from a point of insecurity and uncertainty in my mission. Over the last year, the Lord has molded me and my desires and passions a lot, and I have come to find how interconnected my artistic passions are with my passions for Christ. He has created me in a unique way, with unique passions, and if those passions are from Him, they absolutely coincide with that one mission that we as believers share.

I have felt very called to be reaching people in the arts world, specifically theatre. So this summer, I spent my time (a LOT of my time) at a theatre, rehearsing for a musical alongside a large cast and crew. And I'll be honest, at first I felt like I was wasting my summer. I believe comparison is something that the enemy uses to hurt the body. I found myself wondering if I could really be serving God as well as the people who spent their summers working camps, working at church, performing in worship bands, going on mission trips, and doing whatever else they might be doing. The answer was a resounding, "YES!" from my Savior.

He needs people at camps, at church, in worship bands, on mission trips, and everywhere else He may call them. But He needs me at the theatre in the same way. He needs me there, pouring His love and truth into those people. What I've learned is that anywhere there are people to be reached with the Gospel, He needs people to take it there. It isn't about which place is "best." Because not a single one is better or "more Christian" than another. It is about listening to His voice and following where He leads. And celebrating each part of the body that is doing what He has called it to. Our community as the body of Christ needs to run deep, and we need to cultivate the grace and truth that can then be carried out in love to the places He leads us to.

So, today I celebrate you. Wherever He has called you to--a camp, overseas, your school, your summer job, the theatre--wherever--be all there. Submerge yourself into His mission and live it. Impact people and allow the Lord to pour into you and overflow into them.

Thankful today and everyday that He leads us where He needs us.

The Follower of God who Happens to Really Love Theatre

I started doing theatre in middle school, but I had been forcing my cousins and siblings to put on performances with me and daydreaming about performing for years.  It was in middle school that I started doing "real shows" though, and I never looked back.  Except I did.  I looked back a lot, because I was constantly being "warned" about the people in theatre and the arts.  Many well-meaning Christian friends and mentors told me all about how there weren't many Christians in the industry, and how there were a lot of "lost people."  Well, newsflash, there are a lot of "lost people" in every industry.  That being said, I continued to do theatre, and as I got deeper and deeper into this hobby of mine, I found a passion for the arts and arts education and a deep love for the people involved in them.

I loved God, but my life was becoming rooted in the arts.  I was sick and tired of people judging me for my passions and telling me not to pursue them in college.  My plan was to go to school and major in Arts Administration.  I got a lot of strange stares, a lot of kind words about how that industry needed lights for Jesus there, and a lot of "you're wasting your time and talent for a degree that won't get you anywhere."  People didn't get it.

What they didn't know was my story.  That in middle school, I cried every morning because I hated school.  I cried every time my family visited a new church because I felt so alone everywhere we went and just wanted to go to my home church with my friends, now lost.  I felt so alone.  Then God stuck theatre in my life, and I found a community who loved me.  I believe 100% that God uses non-believers to work his plan, because there is no doubt in my mind that theatre and music were put in my life by Him to impact me and allow me an outlet to express my joy and love for Him...and rediscover that in the process.  The arts were my passion, and I was being told that they were this super dark, scary place where God was not.

So, I went into college, chasing my dreams of working in the arts, but unsure of how my faith fit.  No one wanted to shed any light on that.  Probably because no one knew how to.  But this semester, God has come in and redefined what I'm doing and taught me some things about where my passions fit His plans.  Because here's the thing--I don't think God would give me a passion that's outside of  His will.  I've really grown in my faith over the last few months and fixed something.  I no longer love God but have a life rooted in the arts...I love the arts and my life is rooted in God.

Many well-meaning people had made it seem that working in the arts and living for Jesus were two things that didn't fit together, making theatre out to be this dark, dark world where there was no hope.  Well, Jesus is hope, and He is with me, even in theatre...even in the other arts...even if I decide to go into more TV/media/entertainment.  I will admit, I see and recognize that many people in my career field don't have the same morals and beliefs as me and sometimes that is difficult, but I have the greatest amount of love and respect for these people.  Theatre people are extremely respectful towards me and my beliefs, because I am the same towards them...I have never felt attacked or pressured to believe anything differently, and  I love people in the arts.  I love people who love Jesus too.

So many Christians seems to fear the field I have surrounded myself with.  People seem to want to run the opposite direction.  But I have a passion for the arts and a heart full of love for the people in the arts.  I don't have any reason to believe that was a coincidence.  I 100% believe that if "there are very few Christians in the lost world that your field is" that is all the more reason for me to be there.  Who is reaching those people?  Who is being Jesus?  I'm not here to shove things down anyone's throat, but I am here to love like Jesus while doing what I love.  And I am totally on board with that plan, and I'm really thankful that God has started to show me what that looks like.

So, to all the people who warned me against doing what I'm doing (whether it be because of the jobs I will get/money I will make or the lack of Christians in the field)...thank you for your concern, because I truly know you say what you say because you care.  But also, this is me telling you that God is going to use my passions for His glory and to change the world for Him, just as He uses yours.  And I can't wait to see what He does, and I hope you feel the same way.

Love,

The follower of God who happens to really love theatre

Genius?

gen·ius

ˈjēnyəs/

noun

1. 1.

   exceptional intellectual or creative power or other natural ability.

I'm not sure when we skewed that definition, but somewhere along the line we did.  We look for and measure success and intelligence by the "intellectual" part of that statement.  We, as a society, care about your ability to do well in the academic subjects taught in schools--the majority of which fall under the categories of language arts, foreign language, math, science, and history.  Occasionally you might run into a school that requires an arts course, but in general those courses that include that second part of the genius definition--that "creative power"--are not emphasized.  I think that's where we skewed the definition.  So instead of going on a rant, I'm going to make my point that geniuses come in many forms by showing you examples of people who are geniuses.  I'm not talking about famous people...these are people in my life, who I won't name.  Some are very academically intelligent, because I value that kind of genius and believe that they are real, valid, and very important.  Others are those who exemplify the "exceptional creative power" that may not be so recognized in today's world.  Both are very different.  Both matter a whole lot.

1.  The engineer.

This is my friend who I believe will one day host The Tonight Show because he is ridiculously funny and belongs on a late night TV show.  However, he is also a math genius.  In calculus when I was struggling to grasp the concepts being taught, he would be asking the teacher conceptual questions--connecting many topics that I will probably never connect.  He got it.  This is my friend who is employed as an engineer at a company in town.  He is literally working as a college freshman in a legit job and doing a fabulous job.  He is fascinated by physics.  When he stops a car, he will tell you the physics behind what just happened--whether you care or not.  

He is a genius.

2.  The photographer.

This is my friend who goes on hiking adventures and captures the world.  He can pick the right lens for the camera, look through it, and see a world waiting to be recorded.  He snaps away, seeing the way the light falls and capturing that beauty.  He can put a person in front of a seemingly gloomy, gross sky and make the whole beautiful.  This is my friend who puts the right things in focus, and at the end of the day, no one sees the world in a more unique way, and no one has the ability to capture it in such a way that others can see that same beauty.

He is a genius.

3.  The neurobiologist.

This is my professor who does amazing research on the human brain, and has discovered things about it that no one else has ever discovered.  She has had this passion within her since she was a child--literally doing experiments since she was in grade school.  She has presented at many prestigious events and worked on many problems.  This is my professor who speaks about things that I can barely even wrap my brain around with such passion that it makes me excited for her.  She knows more about this tool we call the brain than I would ever be able to comprehend.

She is a genius.

4.  The theatre artist.

This is the director who has worked with theatre for young people for many years.  She is the artistic director over an entire professional theatre, knowing the ins and outs of how a theatre should operate better than anyone I know.  She can transform umbrellas into turtle shells and anything else that her brain could dream up.  She can turn her "ninjas" aka people dressed in black into ice cream, flowers, spider webs, and water.  This is the director who can create a fantasy world before your eyes and captivate your mind and heart with a story that is real even when it isn't and take you on a journey that you have never been on before.

She is a genius.

5.  The reader, writer, and all-around scholar.

This is my friend who was on Teen Jeopardy as a high school student.  She scored extremely high on all those important college exams and is close to top of the class, if not at the very top.  She loves learning, through reading and writing...writing full length novels, mind you.  She takes her schoolwork seriously, but has this natural ability to succeed.  This is my friend who is just flat out smart and can do well at school, but also is passionate about things like reading and writing.  She uses those passions to further herself, while still finding ways to enjoy the other academic subjects as well...she's not even out of high school.

She is a genius.

6.  The arranger.

This is my friend who takes a song and creates an a cappella arrangement of it.  He can listen to a piece of music, pick out parts, and notate them for people to sing.  He can take a blank sheet of music and fill it with notes, which in turn takes a room of quiet voices and fills it with music.  This is my friend who has written an original song that brings me to tears.  He has the ability to make music, not only for himself, but for groups everywhere, impacting those lives using the abilities he's been given.  He can literally create music.

He is a genius.

The term "genius" is a broad one, but also a very important one.  "Genius" is not limited to the academically intelligent people.  "Genius" is a lot of things, and I think that it is super important that we recognize that...and celebrate it.  These people that I know are amazing, but they are not the only six people in my life doing something cool--literally everyone is.  If you look at people like that--knowing that they are all doing something unique--you will start to see possibility everywhere.  Tell someone today that you appreciate them and think they rock...because they do.  And so do you.  Go be a genius...no matter what kind you are.

Goodbye, Hello.

I am putting this on here so I have access to it online, but this was originally a pastiche that I had written--pastiche meaning that it had my words but also the words of others.  In this case, I had bits and pieces of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken."  I used this for a performance that I did for a senior showcase.  However, I wanted to put a version out here with only my words, so here you go.  Goodbyes and hellos from the eyes of a senior...now a freshman loving every second of the college experience.  The spoken words went alongside the video at the bottom, though it won't fit correctly now without the Robert Frost words.  This will give you a general sense of the piece though.

Goodbye

Nothingness lies ahead
A dark sky
A blank page
Silence
An empty stage
A deserted room
A void.
Full of fear, I look down the road of nothingness
I can’t see the end--only the end of this road.
The end of this road, I should be ready...for the nothingness, I mean.
I listened, did all the “right” things, got all the right answers.
But all I see is the nothingness.
This road of nothing.
But nothing leads to...something.
A dark sky--full of stars, then a sunrise
Silence--full of notes, then a song
A blank page--full of words, then a story
An empty stage--full of a set, then a show
A deserted room--full of people, then a community
A void--full of a creator, then a me.
I turn around.
The road of nothingness isn’t THE beginning.
It’s A beginning
That connects to the end.
The end of now.
I see more than all the “right” things, all the “right” answers.
I see the words, the smiles, the tears, the happy, the hurt.
I see the nights cried to sleep
I see the mornings full of hope.
dI see the experiences.
I see the people, their smiles, their words.
I turn back around, my world within.
The road of nothingness still looms ahead.
An unknown horizon
But something is there
Something beautiful.
The road behind within
The road ahead of nothing…
Something.

Hello.

Love, Theatre: My Thoughts Leaving Oz

I spent my summer in Oz this year, playing Dorothy in a local children's theatre's production of The Wizard of Oz.  We closed our eight show run two days ago, and already I am missing the friends I made and the experiences we had together.  It's not like this is my first time having to say goodbye to a production.  Oh no, in fact, this was my fifteenth production that I have worked on as a performer, and that doesn't include all of the numerous shows I've been on tech for.  It was my sixth, with with this theatre, which holds a special place in my heart, as it always will.  No, I have let go of, and said goodbye to, many, many shows...but that doesn't make it any easier, because of what theatre is about.

Before our last show, our director told us why he does theatre--because theatre is all about love, "and the world needs more of that."  Theatre people always talk about their "theatre family," and I think that a lot of people don't really understand what that means, and I'm not sure I can fully explain it.  There is a special bond, unlike anything else, that comes from being on a stage, creating a world that is live and in the moment for a bunch of people sitting in seats to watch.  I mean, if you think about it, theatre is insane.  Who in their right mind would spend one or two months of time rehearsing to create this imaginary world so that people can come and watch them live out other peoples' lives?  Sounds silly.  And yet, hundreds of years later, the theatre is still existent and growing.  Because it's a place where you can go to escape, whether it is by watching this world come to life or making that world come to life.  A place so pretend, but so full of reality.  Theatre brings people together and allows them to all live in one singular moment and experience it together.  Where else do you get that?  It's no wonder there is a bond created.

That creates love.  Love between characters onstage, coming from sadness, despair, hope, and longing--the depth of human emotions that we often try to avoid in the real world.  Love between actors, coming from trust you must have in one another to make a world to share with others from the rawness of your human nature.  Love between the audience members and those onstage, coming from the empathy that is deep within us all, causing us to relate to what takes place on that stage.  Love between humans, coming from what we all are.  Theatre brings to the surface emotions.  Emotions make us human.

I wouldn't trade my experiences in theatre for the world, for God has used them to truly fill my life with so much love and laughter and wonderful memories.  There was one show during the run where I was nervous because I had a lot of people coming to see me in the audience.  Then my focus shifted to not who was in the audience, but who was on the stage.  That was what mattered.  Obviously, I do theatre for the audiences.  I do it to serve people--to give them a break from daily life and to make them feel.  But the moments when I am in Oz were all about who was in Oz with me.  The moments are fleeting.  Theatre is fleeting.  Shows don't go on forever--that's what makes the time we have together so meaningful.

There was a moment in the show--the moment between when Dorothy clicks her heels and when she arrives back in Kansas--that I really took in during the last show.  I stood in the dim lighting, as all of the characters of Oz circled around me before disappearing forever, and took it all in.  This moment was real--Oz was leaving.  Then Dorothy wakes up and realizes that the people she needed were always with her.  This is true.  As the whole land of Oz circles around me and disappears, now only a distant dream, I know that those people are always with me.  The bond we have is permanent, because that's what theatre does.  Oz is always with me, as are all the other lands I've experienced onstage with my ever-growing theatre family.  I carry them with me always.  Saying goodbye is hard, but the love is no less.  The love will never be less...because that's what theatre is all about.  So long, Oz...now on to the next adventure!

Photo from Lexington Children's Theatre's Facebook page, taken by Bel Canto Photography

We're Off To See The Wizard

I apologize for not posting for a couple of days.  I have been super busy due to extended family being in town and my being in rehearsal for "The Wizard of Oz" at a local children's theatre.  I am super excited to be playing the role of Dorothy, alongside a wonderful cast of young people and adults.  It is an absolute blast, but rehearsals are getting later and later.  I thought I'd keep you updated to show what goes into a professional theatre production leading up to the opening night, which for us is next Thursday!  Yesterday we worked Act I and today we worked Act II of the show.  At this point, we are able to run everything, but in the coming days we will be adding technical elements, and on Sunday we add the orchestra, so we are working to polish what we do so we can hand the show over to tech starting Thursday.  The theatre I'm doing the show with is the 3rd oldest children's theatre in the nation, and is the only professional children's theatre in our city.  It is super fun to be involved with them, and I love the atmosphere created by the people there.  I will continue to update, but for now, I'm off to see the wizard (or go to sleep, ya know...).  Goodnight, all!

Stories and Songs

Hi, all!  I don't know if it was senior year that got me all sentimental or if it is just my naturally reflective self, but I have spent a lot of time in the last few months thinking...about everything.  I have always loved writing, so I have decided to start this blog, entitled "Your Story, Your Song," for that is what my life (and yours too!) is made of.  At the end of each day, no matter how good or bad, you and I have a unique story to tell the world, a unique song to sing.  And that is a very beautiful thing.

This blog will reflect on many things.  I will be headed off to college in the fall, so college life will probably be a big topic, as will the arts, as my intended major is Arts Administration.  I will discuss music, theatre, friends, faith, and more as I journey through this next stage of life.  Because this next stage is a new chapter in my story and a new verse in my song.  Perhaps by sharing my own voice, I can inspire others to share theirs.  Because YOU have a story..a story worth telling.  YOU have a song...a song worth singing.  

Welcome to this story, this song.