Goodbye, Hello.

I am putting this on here so I have access to it online, but this was originally a pastiche that I had written--pastiche meaning that it had my words but also the words of others.  In this case, I had bits and pieces of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken."  I used this for a performance that I did for a senior showcase.  However, I wanted to put a version out here with only my words, so here you go.  Goodbyes and hellos from the eyes of a senior...now a freshman loving every second of the college experience.  The spoken words went alongside the video at the bottom, though it won't fit correctly now without the Robert Frost words.  This will give you a general sense of the piece though.

Goodbye

Nothingness lies ahead
A dark sky
A blank page
Silence
An empty stage
A deserted room
A void.
Full of fear, I look down the road of nothingness
I can’t see the end--only the end of this road.
The end of this road, I should be ready...for the nothingness, I mean.
I listened, did all the “right” things, got all the right answers.
But all I see is the nothingness.
This road of nothing.
But nothing leads to...something.
A dark sky--full of stars, then a sunrise
Silence--full of notes, then a song
A blank page--full of words, then a story
An empty stage--full of a set, then a show
A deserted room--full of people, then a community
A void--full of a creator, then a me.
I turn around.
The road of nothingness isn’t THE beginning.
It’s A beginning
That connects to the end.
The end of now.
I see more than all the “right” things, all the “right” answers.
I see the words, the smiles, the tears, the happy, the hurt.
I see the nights cried to sleep
I see the mornings full of hope.
dI see the experiences.
I see the people, their smiles, their words.
I turn back around, my world within.
The road of nothingness still looms ahead.
An unknown horizon
But something is there
Something beautiful.
The road behind within
The road ahead of nothing…
Something.

Hello.

College Move-In, First Days, and Dorm Decoration

Two days ago, I moved into my dorm, so I thought I'd make a post about it.  I don't have a ton to say.  Move-in day was pretty seamless for me because I was moving in early because I am in a Fine Arts Living Learning Community, so I was already moving in early.  Not only that, but about half my floor had already moved in even a few days earlier because many of them are in marching band or were rushing.  We pulled up and unloaded everything into a shopping cart that they had available to use.  It took about two trips, but we got everything up to my room and then I started unpacking.  The most organizing you'll have to do is with clothing items and bathroom/sink stuff.  Once you get everything unloaded, then comes the fun part...making the space your own.  I'll just post some pictures and caption with what I did.

Bed space!  Bring stuffed animals if you want...lots of people do and no one cares one way or the other.  Pick a fun comforter.  And then personalize it.  I have artsy friends so I had some canvases to hang (with command strips!!!), but then I also hung some twine with command hooks and used clothespins to put up lots of fun pictures, which you can see here.

Desk.  My desk had drawers, so I put most of my school stuff in there so I could decorate.  I put up lots of pictures again, as you can see, and I used fun mugs like my Tonight Show mug and a New York cup to hold pencils.  I also decorated it with lots of knickknacks which made it feel more like home.  My desk lamp and alarm clock are top left. 

This is the side of my desk which I use as an example of how you can really personalize everything.  I used dorm tape (made by the "mavalous" brand) to attach pictures here, and while I don't have a picture of my wardrobe or the drawers under my bed, I plan to eventually put some pictures there too.

Picture that shows most of the room.

The first few days have been interesting, because there haven't been a ton of activities planned.  The first day was kind of rough because after my parents left, I just sat in my dorm and finished putting pictures up and read some of my summer reading.  I met a few of the girls on my hall, but, like I said, many of them are rushing or in marching band so there weren't a ton of people around, which was hard.  I have a couple of friends from high school that I've met up with.  We agree it's kind of hard to make friends.  But there was an ice cream social the first night where I really got to meet some people, and we had another event where we painted canvases last night.  Each day gets easier.  There was a group of five of us that ordered pizza and then we grabbed a couple other girls and went to a movie night on campus, so yesterday was a lot less lonely.  I don't have too much advice yet, except that it is a transition, which obviously I am still in the middle of.  But having lots of pictures and things from home decorating your new home definitely helps make things feel more comfortable and less unknown.

My Late Night(s) with The Tonight Show

I fully blame Jimmy Fallon for my late nights of homework senior year.  It's all his fault.  Because I became an avid fan.  Let me explain.

Tonight Show obsession continued through graduation thank you notes...

I was a part of a rigorous program called the International Baccalaureate Program and it caused me many late nights of homework.  I stayed up doing biology labs, math problems, papers for any and every class--you name it.  For me to work efficiently, I found it helpful to have background noise, so I would turn on the local news at 10 and then the local news on NBC at 11.  I had no problem focusing on my homework with the Kentucky news playing.  However, after the 11 o'clock news was The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.  At first, his show too was not an issue, but then I began to listen to it, and watch it, and get distracted.  The good news was, I watched the monologue and opening segment and was able to regain focus on my homework during the interviews.  Then homework nights got later...all the way to Late Night with Seth Meyers.  I soon was hooked on his monologue and opening segment as well.

Some might say that this was bad...my lack of focus that resulted from the shows.  But I don't think so.  Sure, I might have ended up going to bed 30 minutes later and maybe my homework wasn't as perfect as it could have been.  But let me tell you, I always had a chance to smile and laugh before going to sleep.  Before my late night TV breaks, I got frustrated and stressed to the point of tears.  Always.  And while I still had those moments (and probably just as frequently), I was able to smile.  I was able to take a break from the tedious assignments and just laugh.  How great is that?!

While their jobs may seem like "fun" jobs or maybe even "easy" jobs, I truly believe that people like Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers who host these late night talk shows have some of the toughest jobs around.  Think about it.  Every night, you have to come out with a smile and make other people smile.  Even if you've had an awful day.  You have to immediately be likable.  But I think that what makes them so great at what they do is why the do it.  I see this a lot with Jimmy Fallon.  He is always having fun--smiling and laughing and having fun with his guests, with Higgins, with the material, with everything.  But even more than having fun...he does what he does for a specific reason, and it's super cool.  After coming back from a finger injury, he said, "This is the meaning of my life.  I belong on TV, and I should  be talking to people who are in an ICU, or wherever you are...if anyone is suffering at all, this is my job.  I'm here to make you laugh, and I wanna make you have a good time."  Here's the full clip (watch around 4:20):

I so admire people, like Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers (and all the many other late night hosts), who do what they do to serve people.  And it's not just their jobs.  It's your job.  It's my job.  Do what you love to do to serve people.  I do theatre, specifically children's theatre, to serve people.  Maybe you are an engineer or a teacher or or a musician or a doctor or an athlete.  Whatever you are, serve others doing what you do...and have freaking fun while you're doing it!!!!

So maybe my "Late Night"(s) and "Tonights" with Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon weren't just a distraction.  Perhaps they were to show me the beauty of serving people and the beauty of taking a moment to just laugh.  So, Jimmy Fallon, I take it back.  I don't blame you for those late nights of homework.  I THANK YOU for them.

P.S. Please watch these gifs while listening to music...you'll thank me.

Dear 2016 Seniors

Dear 2016 Seniors,

A year ago, I was in your shoes, about to start my senior year.  I was posting all my "Last First Day" posts on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, and scrolling through the posts of my friends who had done the same.  I was excited to be at the top of the school, flying through one last year of high school before adventuring out into the world of college.  I was already stressing over college applications and scholarships and decisions that truly wouldn't be made for almost nine more months.  I was being told not to "wish senior year away" and blah blah blah.  Now, a year later, I am sitting on my front porch on the first "school night" that my underclassmen friends are dreading.  I have seen the sad posts about summer ending, the "wow I can't believe I am already a senior" posts.  I've seen all the high school schedules floating around online.  And yet here I am, sitting in the warm summer night air, still in disbelief that I am graduated, that tomorrow I won't be walking through the front doors of my high school, that all of my friends are starting to scatter across the country to move on to bigger and better things.  I learned a lot during my high school years, especially senior year, but to be honest, these were the most important:

Reflect
Senior year is so weird because you're constantly looking ahead to what's next, whether that be college or the workforce or the military or even just ahead to the next test or school event.  Yet at the same time, you are looking back at all the years of school--of life--that you've gone through.  Something about senior year, especially those late nights, makes you really look at life, as a whole.  That is good.  Evaluate your life.  Find out where you came from, where you are, and where you're going.  But know that today is most important.  Live in today.  Don't miss today.

Love
As I looked at my life, I realized that what I remembered--what my memories were really made of--were the people in my life.  People are so important, and whether you love the people in your grade or think you hate them, you will miss many of them when you graduate.  When they walk across the stage and are handed that prized diploma, you will realize that when some of them walk out of that graduation, they will walk out of your life.  Love them.  Love them all.  I don't care who said what about that girl or that boy--love them.  Don't get caught up in the drama, because there will be some.  People get weird senior year.  Remember that you're all in a state of mixed emotions, and just love people.

Say "Thank You"
You didn't get to senior year by yourself, no matter what you think.  Thank your teachers, your parents, your friends, your counselors, your custodians, EVERYONE.  Senior year can get a lot about "me"--my college, my scholarships, my awards, my graduation.  The attention will be on you a lot.  When it is, use that attention to shine a light on what other people did to get you to where you are.  Tell them thank you.  THANK YOUR TEACHERS.  Whether you love them or hate them, they put up with you and got you to graduation.  Thank them.

Encourage and Support
This also requires taking the focus off yourself.  Everyone, and I do mean everyone, you meet is doing something super cool.  You just have to find out what it is.  Talk to people.  And then go support them.  Go watch the soccer team.  Go see plays.  Read the newspaper that your friend writes.  Support people.  And when they go off to college or to do whatever they may do, support them.

Prioritize
Remember...people are most important.  School and grades matter--a lot.  College applications will teach you that in a hurry.  However, people will be what you remember.  My math teacher junior year said, "Make school work around your life, not your life work around school."  That will always stick with me.

Don't be a Slacker
That being said, don't totally neglect school.  Make memories with your friends and take time for yourself, but remember, you've gotten through kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, freshman through junior year--don't stop second semester of senior year!  Finish strong.  You'll be happy you did when those IB/AP scores come back and you get out of a bunch of general classes in college...believe me, I'm thankful already.

Take Lots of Pictures
Take first day of school pictures with your friends...and last day of school pictures.  Take selfies at graduation practice.  Take pictures in the theatre on random days.  Take pictures of your math class or your Spanish class or your history class. Get pictures at banquets and at lunch.  Get pictures with everyone.  Once again, you'll be happy you did.  I am in the process of picking out pictures to hang in my dorm, and I'm going to have like hundreds from senior year alone...I am 100% ok with that.  You'll have lots of reminders to keep close to you.

Branch Out
I got to be good friends with a ton of people in the IB program my senior year--I felt pretty close to everyone.  And I am so thankful I expanded my friend group in that way.  But even then, I got to senior trip in April and met a bunch of people who I'd smile at in the hallway but never really talked to.  Once again, everyone is doing something cool.  Don't get to spring and realize that you didn't really meet as many people as you could have.  Trust me, you'll regret it.  Senior trip made me bond in a new way with the whole senior class, and I truly wish I had gotten closer to so many people.

Don't Wish It Away
"Oh, I won't!" you tell me, as I told many people.  But you will.  You'll wish it away when homework overloads you.  You'll wish it away as college plans become real and very exciting.  You'll wish it away when your teachers don't seem to get that "senioritis" is a very real thing.  You'll wish it away when the underclassmen are acting stupid (the same way you did three years ago).  You'll wish it away when you're having an awful day (and I had a lot of those...they happen...maybe a lot).  But in those moments, look around at your school, your classmates, your teachers, your sports team, your choir, your theatre group, your club...and remember that you only have a limited number of days with them.  Because all of a sudden you'll be sitting outside on the summer night that is "the first school night" for everyone else and realize that you blinked.  You looked ahead to college and all of a sudden it wasn't a year away, it is a week away.  Many of your classmates are headed away, your teachers are headed back where you aren't, your choir or sports team or theatre group is continuing on...and you aren't there.  I'm sure it'll only get realer for me from here, but it's very weird.  I am SO SO SO excited for college and everything that is ahead, but I do wish I had savored the moments that are now only memories.  I'm leaving it behind, carrying it in my heart, and I can't wait to come back and see how my school has thrived...how my underclassmen have thrived.  But don't wish it away.  I promise, the time will pass...you'll get to graduation faster than you can even fathom.  Enjoy today.  Enjoy it.  Enjoy it.  Enjoy it.

Love,
Erin, Creek Class of '15

TC IB Class of 2015

Friendship Heals

While the Wizard of Oz has been over for a few weeks in my life, it is a classic film that almost everyone knows, and I did a lot of deep thinking about the character relations within it.  These are not only relevant, but I think the relationships are very intriguing for anyone who loves the movie, so I thought I'd share.

Toto

Toto may be a dog, but he is certainly Dorothy's best friend, not an inanimate object.  The fact of the matter is that while the other characters are, in essence, with Dorothy the whole time, Toto is never-changing.  Toto is the one who goes through the entire journey.  Toto is the reason things happen.  He brings the friends to rescue Dorothy.  He discovers the wizard.  Toto matters.  Toto is the best friend we all want.  He is the prime example of man's best friend--looking out for what Dorothy wants and never leaving her side except to save her.

Bel Canto Photography

Scarecrow

Scarecrow is so dear to Dorothy because, in Oz, he is the only one there the whole time. Despite his lack of brains, he knows what to do in every situation.  He is there when Dorothy meets each of the other friends, and their friendship's longevity is what makes it so incredibly crucial.  When saying goodbye, Dorothy says, "Scarecrow.  You were my first friend here.  I think maybe I'll miss you most of all."  They are best friends from the moment they meet, and their special friendship is so valuable and crucial to why Dorothy can continue on her journey...she has someone by her side.

Tin Man

I think Dorothy feels the need to help Tin Man even more than the others perhaps, because while the farmhands that are Scarecrow and Lion just don't have a brain and courage, Dorothy's harsh words are what leads Tin Man's farmhand to say at the start of the show, "Don't say that, Dorothy.  You make me feel terrible inside, like my heart was torn out."  Unlike with the others, she is the reason he is lacking.  While in reality, Tin Man has a huge heart, full of love for Dorothy and the friends, Dorothy feels the need to help him due to the past life in her subconscious.  The love Tin Man is full of makes his friendship so important to Dorothy.

Lion

Last, but certainly not least, is the sweet Lion.  I think the bond that exists between him and Dorothy is so strong because of the way they look out for each other.  While the other friends are more independent, Dorothy has to look out for the Lion more and make sure he is tagging along and keeping up as much courage as possible.  Despite his lack of courage, Lion begins to look out for Dorothy as well, showing just how deep their friendship is.  I personally connected to Lion because I often lack courage and am filled with anxiety.  The lesson is that friendship helps heal that.

Friendship Heals

Friendship heals the Lion.  The friends help him gain courage.  Friendship heals the Tin Man. The friends help him gain a heart.  Friendship heals the Scarecrow.  The friends help him gain a brain.  And friendship heals Dorothy.  The friends help her gain a home.

Sometimes my brain doesn't work and I get filled with fear and a lack of courage, making it hard to love/feel loved.  However, this summer (and throughout my life in general), friendship healed that.  Friendship gives me a head full of the knowledge that I matter--that I do have the courage I need to get through life.  Friendship gives me people to love with everything in me, and feel that love in return.  Friendship gives me a home.  God has done the same thing, for I am a friend of God.  And I am beyond grateful that He placed friends in my life this summer and through my life in theatre and school.  As college nears, and my friends begin to part ways, I am grateful.  Friendship heals.

Reminder Close to Me

If you run into me on the street, I look like a somewhat average teenage girl--probably one on the "artsy" side, but average nonetheless.  You might notice the two bracelets that I have recently been wearing on my left wrist, but probably wouldn't think anything of them.  They look normal enough.  However, they hold a deeper meaning to me that you would never get from passing me on the street.

The first bracelet is a Lokai Bracelet.  I got it as a gift and was a bit taken aback by the message it held with it--"find your balance"--thinking that it might be something spiritual, which as a Christian, I feel I need to be careful with.  However, I researched the bracelet, and found this description:

"Each lokai is infused with elements from the highest and lowest points on Earth. The bracelet’s white bead carries water from Mt. Everest, and its black bead contains mud from the Dead Sea. These extreme elements are a reminder to the wearer to live a balanced life – staying humble during life’s peaks and hopeful during its lows."

(Taken from the Lokai Bracelet website)

I liked the concept of it.  After an emotional roller coaster of a senior year, I found the highs and lows of life to be true, and as someone who is often filled with anxiety and worrying, the bracelet became a reminder to me that there are highs, lows, and days in between, but that God is with me through it all.  I like that reminder close to me, on my wrist.

The other bracelet is one that I made out of that friendship bracelet string that we all used forever ago to make bracelets for one another.  If you read my previous posts, you know that I recently was in The Wizard of Oz.  This bracelet is yellowish orange to represent the yellow brick road, and the beads represent the friends Dorothy makes along the way--Toto, Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion.  However, the bracelet to me signifies so much more than that.  It represents the yellow brick road I'm travelling--life--and serves as a reminder that I never travel alone on the road of life, but that I have so many friends that I will always carry with me in my heart.  I like that reminder close to me, on my wrist.

I'm not the type of person to get a tattoo, but I imagine that they are to their owners as my bracelets are to me--reminders that I can easily see that emphasize the life I'm blessed with living, the people I'm blessed to have beside me, and the God I'm blessed to serve.