Season of Waiting

I'm going to be straight up honest about where I'm at right now...I'm in a season of waiting and it really sucks.  In fact, I've been in a season of waiting.  Some of the things I wait for have been brought to fruition and that is wonderful, but there are several other things that God seems to be taking His dear sweet time on.  I've grown in my faith tremendously since going to college, but there are still days I struggle.

I'm waiting on direction.  I came into college with a set career plan and major, and while I definitely think that I was following God's direction when I chose that, He is reshaping what that's going to look like.  I still love what I'm studying and think that my career path is, overall, going to take the direction I saw coming into college.  However, I also am seeing how my faith is intersecting with the passions that God has given me, and that is reshaping my ideas about why He gave me these passions and what He intends for me to do with them.  Here's the catch:  I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE.  I want to.  I want to know what God is going to do with my life and what my career is going to look like, but right now that's not something I'm ready to see.  I have to trust Him.

I'm waiting on my husband.  I know that's a silly, little girl thing to say, but, like, I have friends who are only a couple of years older than me that are getting engaged...and I'm still my perpetually single self.  Being single is actually kind of the worst sometimes...trust me, I've been there for...ever.  Some days (okay, many days) I just really want my Prince Charming to show up NOW.  I struggle to believe God has a plan for me and a future husband.  Yet, I believe and pray that if that's not His plan, He will take that desire away.  Right now, I desire to serve Him in marriage with a family one day, so I believe that if He's calling me to serve Him that way, He will provide.  In His timing.  Not mine.  He can write a better love story than I can, and right now it's just about me and Him.  He'll bring me the right man in time.  I have to trust Him.

I'm waiting on salvation.  Not for me, because I invited Him into my life a few years ago, and He took over, and is continuing to take over every day.  Salvation is something that I am blessed to live in each and every day.  No, I'm waiting on the salvation of several of my friends who haven't had the experience of feeling His love and giving their lives to Him.  There is nothing I want more than to see them feel the joy that we've been given through Him.  I've prayed for one of my friends every day for almost two years.  I've been praying for several others.  I pray for opportunities to witness.  I pray for them to see truth.  Yet some days it just feels like they are moving further away.  But I keep praying, because I know He can do all things.  I have to trust Him.

I have to trust Him.  "Nothing shall be impossible.  Your kingdom reigns unstoppable.  We'll shout our praise forevermore, Jesus, our God unstoppable."

Celebrate Love

Valentine's Day is supposed to be the day that perpetually single people like myself hate.  Is it my favorite holiday? No.  Do I hate it?  No.

Here's the thing...Valentine's Day is a day about love.  Yes, people make it about love for a significant other, and that's fine.  But just because that's what culture does doesn't mean it has to be what you do.  To me, a holiday about love is totally a holiday that I can get on board with, because the world we live in, whether we want to see it this way or not, has a heck of a lot of things and people to love.  So I choose to celebrate that.

I choose to celebrate a love for music.  The notes and words that together bring meaning powerfully into the world for all to hear.  The harmonies that bring tears to my eyes at the beauty of them.  The incredible unity music brings to a group of people who make it...and to the people who hear it.

I choose to celebrate a love for theatre.  The stories that come to life onstage and remind us that we are not alone in this human experience.--the emotions that deeply pierce the core of our being are not unique to us.  We all fear, have sadness, and even love.  Theatre shows that.

I choose to celebrate a love for creation.  The sky full of colors at daybreak and stars at night.  The snow that drifts softly to the ground.  The colors of fall leaves and the beauty of budding flowers.  All reminding us of the Creator, where peace can be found.

I choose to celebrate a love for people.  Each person whose path crosses mine.  The friendships that I carry close to my heart and remind me that I am never alone.  The people I know--both for years or for minutes.  The lessons those people teach me.  I celebrate people--the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, siblings, roommates, professors, teachers, and friends from every stage of life.  The love I have for the people in my life is more than I can put into words.

And lastly, I choose to celebrate a love for God.  And let me just tell you, this love is 109341857x different and better than the love for the things above.  The love He had for me and you when He sent His only son to come walk this earth and lay His life down for my sins.  But then Jesus rose from the grave and took away my punishment and beat death and WOW WHAT LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!  His love for you, whether you believe it or not, surpasses the love of any significant other or friend or whoever.  His love for you is unconditional, everlasting, and perfect.

Moral of the story...I don't particularly "love" Valentine's Day either.  But, I choose to celebrate love.  Because there are things worth loving.  And they are worth celebrating every day.